Do other people take up too much headspace?
If you’re constantly preoccupied with what other people think of you and live in fear of rejection from close friends, work colleagues and even strangers, you don’t need me to tell you that relationships are taking up too much emotional energy.
You hate that other people live in your head rent free and that it takes you away from what really matters. But no matter how hard you try, you can’t stop overthinking everything.
Maybe you’re thoughtful, caring and emotionally aware. But friendships and other social connections still leave you feeling insecure, hyper-alert and not good enough.
Often, chronic overthinking in relationships is rooted in low self-worth and a fear of rejection.
How low self worth affects social relationships
Feeling insecure in friendships
Maybe you’re ashamed to admit it, but friendships are hard to navigate because everything feels personal — a last-minute cancellation, a missed birthday message, a slow reply that makes you think they’re mad at you.
You give everything to friendships because thats what being a “good friend” means, but then you feel deeply hurt and undervalued when it’s not returned.
Distance feels deeply unsettling, consuming your attention, and you can’t properly relax until you hear from them again… until next time.
If we struggle in close friendships, we often feel worse about ourselves because we assume everyone else finds friendships easy. But from both personal and professional experience, I know it’s far more common than people think.
Needing Approval & Caring What Everyone Thinks
You replay conversations with everyone — even strangers — wondering how you came across or whether they’re judging you.
The slightest hint of conflict in personal or professional relationships sends you spiralling and obsessing over how to “fix” it.
The need to be liked by everyone means the thought of someone being unhappy with you feels deeply distressing.
Or maybe this shows up in more subtle ways, such as becoming who you think other people want you to be, until you’re no longer sure who you really are.
You constantly compare yourself to others, second guess yourself and feel overwhelmed trying to keep up with everything you “should” be doing.
People pleasing & lack of boundaries
Saying no feels like a language you were never taught. The thought that someone may be annoyed with you for having boundaries creates so much fear that you avoid doing it altogether.
You feel responsible for other people’s emotions and believe it’s your job to keep everyone happy. Over time, this becomes exhausting. You know something needs to change but no idea where to start because your identity is so connected with meeting everyone else’s needs.
You’ve spent so long trying to be what everyone else wants you to be, you don’t even know who you are or what you want anymore.
My Therapy Approach
Therapy with me is likely to feel different to what you’ve had before, or what you might expect from a stereotypical TV therapist.
I won’t just sit silently nodding while you spiral. I bring my personality, expertise and life experience into the room, whilst still making sure the space is yours.
I’m a down-to-earth northerner and pride myself on creating a space where you can feel completely at ease. Clients often tell me they feel able to open up quickly in sessions, whilst also leaving with practical tools and a deeper understanding of themselves.
I blend evidence-based approaches including CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), Compassion Focused Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (mindfulness) to create a powerful, practical approach for anxiety, low self-esteem, friendships and people pleasing.
Therapy with me is active and collaborative. I’ll help you learn how to calm your nervous system whilst also working on the deeper beliefs driving anxiety, self-doubt and fear of rejection.
Get to know your story
We don’t spend every session talking about your childhood, but it’s important to understand your experiences and where beliefs about yourself may have come from.
Making sense of your patterns is often the first step towards increasing self-compassion and creating lasting change.
If you’ve experienced traumatic events, we can also consider weaving EMDR into our therapy sessions.
Understand what you want to be different
Together, we’ll identify the patterns keeping you stuck.
What situations feel stressful? What automatic thoughts show up? How does this affect how you feel, behave and relate to others? How is this pulling you away from the kind of life and relationships you want?
This helps us create clear goals and a practical plan for change.
Feel more in control of thoughts and feeling
Using tools from ACT and mindfulness, you’ll learn how to pause and step back so that thoughts and feelings don’t immediately consume you.
You’ll feel more grounded and more able to regulate your nervous system during triggering moments such as conflict, rejection or anxiety in relationships.
You’ll also develop a deeper understanding of how human minds work, why we all seek approval and fear rejection — and why this tends to show up more intensely in some people than others.
Work towards lasting change to feel good enough for life.
I’ll help you heal early emotional wounds using powerful trauma-informed approaches (including EMDR) and loosen the grip of the beliefs driving anxiety and fear of rejection.
You’ll build self-compassion so that you can let go of harsh self-criticism and develop a kinder relationship with yourself.
Over time, you’ll feel more secure in yourself and your relationships, whilst making practical changes to build a life that feels more authentic and fulfilling.
Practical Stuff
How much are sessions
I charge £79 per session, which includes regular emails with resources to support you between sessions, such as worksheets and guided meditations.
How long will it take
It’s hard to say, as some people get what they need after a few months, whilst others need longer — particularly if we’re working through childhood trauma.
It also depends on what we’re working on and how much you’re able to engage with the work between sessions.
When & Where Are Sessions
I offer weekly or fortnightly online therapy sessions and currently work Tuesday–Thursday, 10am–4pm.
I can only offer therapy to people living in the UK and Europe, but I do offer coaching packages for people living elsewhere.
Next Steps
It’s important that I feel like the right therapist for you — and that you feel comfortable working with me too.
That’s why I offer a free consultation where we can discuss what you’d like support with and get a feel for working together.
You can click the link below to book your consultation, or email me with any questions you may have.
