Mindfulness has been proven to help with a wide variety of mental health problems as well as being the foundation for a more compassionate and joyful way of life.
It can feel tricky to do at first, particularly because there are many misconceptions about it being a way of clearing your mind and being in the present moment. Therefore, many people try it and think they are doing it wrong so give up.
There are many ways to practice mindfulness and it is multi-faceted. It can help to:
- Change your relationship with your thoughts so that you can observe and get distance from them. You can learn that thoughts are not facts and do not need to define your reality.
- Choose where to place your attention so that you can be less caught up in negative thoughts and mental “spirals”
- Increase awareness of your body so that you can notice signs of stress and manage it.
- Allow emotions and thoughts to arise without pushing them away, which causes more stress.
- Develop kinder more soothing ways of responding to yourself and others.
When learning mindfulness it can help to go at a pace you feel comfortable with and start off small at first but, if possible, often.
Everyday Mindfulness
A good way to start is trying what’s known as “every day” mindfulness. This means using your senses as anchors in your every day life such as what we can hear, taste and see when we are just doing our normal activities.
The basic steps involve:
- Choosing to focus on an anchor (sound or birds or taste of a cup of tea).
- Shifting your attention to that “sense” and seeing if you can focus on fine details.
- Each time your mind wanders, notice that it has wandered, and keep bringing it back to the anchor.
- Repeat this cycle for as many times as you need. But remember that the first 20-30 secs of an activity is enough to start off with. Do not feel you have to be present for the whole thing!
Remember that even if your mind wanders countless times this does not mean you are getting it wrong. Each time your mind wanders and you bring it back, you can congratulate yourself that you have exercised your “attentional muscle” (i.e the part of the brain that helps you choose where to place attention).
Activities which can be great at first involve things you have to do every day as well as things you enjoy doing.
- Having a cup of tea (notice the warmth in your hands, taste of tea)
- Having a shower: Feel and sound of water on skin.
- Going for a walk: listen to birds, look at trees, feel of feel
It can be useful to try different “anchors” so that you know what works best for you. Some people prefer sounds to sight or vica versa. Or do different ones in a practice i.e. a “sense cycle”
Regular planned practice
It can also be a very good idea, when trying to improve our mental health, to devote time to a regular practice. This means stepping away from every day activities and focussing on an anchor for a prolonged period of time. 5-10 mins as first is good but building up to 20 mins a day is ideal (although a long term goal for many!).
Using the breath or body is usually the best use of a planned practice but you can use whatever anchor you like.
The process is the same i.e. focus on the anchor and each time your mind wanders, notice that it has wandered with a friendly curiosity and bring it back to the anchor. It can help to label your thoughts and allow them to be there before a moment before bringing attention back, rather than “batting” your thoughts away like a game of tennis!
You are not getting it wrong if you mind keeps wandering as long as you observe your thoughts and bring it back each time.
Also see this time as “checking in” with yourself rather than trying to make yourself feel different. Notice with a friendly curiosity (i.e. none judgmental awareness) whether there is tension in your body and breath. What does that feel like to notice that? Can you allow it to be there without being judgmental about it? Mindfulness is about being more aware of ourselves and also more accepting of life and that starts with what we are bringing to the planned practices.