If you are experiencing anxiety or stress in your work or personal life you may have been aware for a while that low self esteem could be the cause. Accessing therapy for self esteem can be really useful and this blog will help you consider if you need it and how you would benefit.
How do I know if I have low self esteem?
Unless you Donald Trump, most people probably have the odd day where they wonder if they’re good enough. (Although Donald Trumps deluded self belief and lack of compassion for other is also evidence of very low esteem but thats for another blog).
We all have a tendancy to compare ourselves to others and beat ourselves up over mistakes from time to time. But persistantly criticise yourself to the point of feeling regularly stressed or being so anxious about what people think that it impacts your relationships and social life then maybe therapy for self esteem could help. Here are some other signs:
- You are so precoccipied with what other people think of you that you are often distracted, anxious or not able to sleep.
- You feel judged or disliked easily which makes you feel anxious
- You regularly compare yourself to others and feel not good enough which makes you feel low.
- You find it hard to say no as the thought of letting people down makes you feel anxious
- You’re often tired or stress because you cannot prioritise your needs
- You’re very self critical over small mistakes and feel very stressed about them
- You put pressure on yourself to achieve certain things and if you don’t you feel very guilty or ashamed.
- You struggle in relationships because you do not feel loveable
- You feel isolated because you get anxious about social situations.
What causes low self esteem?
Low self esteem can have a variety of causes but often it is due to environmental factors such as:
- Parents who were critical, abusive or emotionally distant
- Bullying at school
- Problems at work such as losing your job
- Social media which creates unrealistic expectations and images of people
- Major life changes such as loss of a relationship or ill health.
However, it is also very common to not recall diffcult experiences but still struggle with low self esteem.
How do I know if I need therapy for low self esteem?
Whether or not you want to see a therapist is a very personal choice. You may feel you do not tick the boxes below but would still value a space to offload and work on it. Thats fine and I would always encourage anyone who feels like they would benefit from talking to do so.
However, there are some signs that you would benefit from therapy to work on your self esteem
- You have experienced stressful childhood experiences which have contributed to low self esteem
- You have experiened trauma such as abuse or grief.
- Low self esteem is causing distressing feelings such as anxiety, stress and low mood.
- Your feelings are causing problems in work or personal life
- You have tried to work on it yourself but ssre still struggling.
What will happen when I attend therapy for low self esteem?
Generally speaking all therapists and counselling will offer a space for you to talk and reflect what they hear in a kind but honest way. This increases your awareness to help you know how you feel about things and be equipped to make the changes you need. But here are some common additional tools some therapists might use to help self esteem. When talking to a therapist about working with them its useful to find out what techniques they are trained in.
Challenge thoughts: Having low self esteem means we interpret the world a particular way. A very common example is jumping to conclusions about what someone is thinking about them. Assuming someone is judging you or dislikes you results in feelings of stress and anxiety but we rarely have evidence for this. This technique comes from Cognitive Behaviourial Theray and involves looking for evidence for the thoughts you are having. Most of the time we think in a certain way because our brains are programmed to jump to conclusions and assume the worst but not based on actual evidence. For example, what evidence do you have that your boss thinks you are bad at your job? How realistic is if that you will get fired for making a mistake?
Mindfulness helps us to give space to difficult thoughts and feelings. Often if we have low self esteem we will be caught up in ruminating with unhelpful, self critical thoughts which make us feel worse. Mindfulness can help you take a step back from them
Self Compassion We are often more critical of ourselves than other people. If you are giving yourself a hard time pause and ask yourself what you would say to a friend
Develop healthier core belief. Often at the route of low self esteem in relation to work stress is that only feel good enough if we do well. So the possibility of making a mistake feels really uncomfortable because deep down it makes us feel like a bad person. Therapists will bring attention to this so that you can develop more positive core beliefs.
How can I access therapy for low self esteem?
If you feel that you would benefit from therapy for self esteem and are interested in working with me visit my main page to find out more or contact me directly to arrange a free consultation.
