If you worry what people think or criticise yourself often this is usually a sign of low self esteem. If you are thinking of accessing therapy for low self esteem “Compassion Focussed Therapy” could help. This article will explain what it is and whats involved.
What is Compassion Focussed Therapy
Compassion Focussed Therapy was developed by Professor Paul Gilbert to be used for severe depression in hospital settings but it has been embraced across private counselling too and can really help low self esteem. This is because its designed to alleviate self criticism and shame and help people develop a kinder more accepting relationship with themselves.
Despite it being called “Compassion” Focused Therapy” it is about much more than just kindness and self care.
It is rooted in new neuroscientific evidence regarding how a lack of compassion towards ourselves both causes and perpetuates mental health problems. This is because our brains have 3 emotional systems: Drive, Threat and Soothing. We have evolved with these emotional systems because we needed them to survive but when out of balance they cause mental health problems.
For example our drive system is needed to help us compete for status and achieve goods but if overactive can make us compare ourselves to others and be self criticial. Our threat system protects us against harm but also wants to keep us safe in groups as this helped us survive. Therefore it programms us to desire approval and love from others but when overactivated can make us fear rejection and worry what people think.
To regulate the Drive and Threat system the soothing system allows us to feel content, safe and able to give and receive love. The Soothing System is underactive in people with low self esteem so “Compassion Focussed Therapy” tried to increase it.
What happens in Compassion Focussed Therapy Sessions?
CFT therapists will teach you techniques to practice compassion at home and also ask you to reflect on certain situations and how they impact on your thoughts and feelings etc. In the sessions you will:
- Explore what compassion means to have a shared understanding.
- Explore how you feel and react to certain events at the moment.
- Explore where this has come from in terms of your past relationships and events.
- Discuss “psycho education” and help you understand how our “tricky brains” have evolved and how our brains and bodies work.
- Learn body and breath based practices to help you activate the soothing system.
- Use mindfulness to help you increase awareness of distress and take a step back form thoughts and feelings.
- Learn new compassionate ways of responding to situations.
What is low self esteem and how can Compassion Focussed Therapy Help?
Low self esteem describes a way of perceiving yourself which means a person can be self critical, feel not good enough and worry whether they are loveable. Although this can feel real to people it is often due to childhood experiences that have shaped their perception of themselves. Someone with low self esteem may be prone to work stress due to putting pressure on themselves and worrying about mistakes. Or they may struggle in personal relationships due to not being feeling secure and loveable. To read more about low self esteem click here.
Can I use self compassion to increase self esteem without going to therapy?
If you want to use self compassion to increase self esteem but do not want to see a therapist at the moment its possible to try techniqes at home. However, bear in mind that if you have experienced traumatic experiences it is recommended to see a therapist either privately or through the NHS. The following tools may help.
- Notice when you are being critical or putting your self under too much pressure. What would you say to a friend?
- Imagine an internal “compassionate companion” who is there for you, not judging you and wants to be helpful.
- Practice soothing breathing to stimulate the compassionate self and cultivate qualilties of wisdom, care and courage towards yourself.
For more information about Compassion Focussed Therapy explore The Compassionate Mind Foundation.
How Can I Access Compassion Focussed Therapy?
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